PINKEYE on Black Monday!
I’ve got Pinkeye! The markets are tumbling like the walls of Jericho and I have Pinkeye!
Here I sit, with my trusty companion, Hunter (my laptop), trying not to think of the avalanche in the marketplace and my eyes feel like they’ve been rubbed with sandpaper. Hell, kids are the ones who get Pinkeye and all of ours are grown and over 3,000 miles away in California.
It’s all my wife, Kate’s, fault! She works with the Developmentally Disabled and one of her charges is in the hospital. Being thoroughly dedicated to her vocation she has to check on him over the weekend and I, being thoroughly dedicated to her, went innocently along. MISTAKE!!
It was the hand sanitizer beside the elevator. I just know it! As we wait, she automatically uses the hand sanitizer. MISTAKE!! Who knows who’s been using that sanitizer? Probably…nurses and who knows where their hands have been!
Anywayyyyy, here I sit, on Black Monday, trying to concentrate on the subject at hand and my eyes look like I’ve been trapped in the smoker’s lounge at Dallas-Fort Worth airport for two weeks! It’s hard enough to talk enthusiastically about Motivating Your Affiliates when the Dow’s lower than an ant’s bottom and the economy’s crumbling like blue cheese. Maybe I shouldn’t? Michael and Terry want me to entertain, educate and excite you all but I’m not sure it’s in me today.
Maybe there’s something lighter in the newspaper….
Boomerville Press Wire, Not second rate just second hand.
Sept 14, 9:51 AM EDT
WALL ST, NYC, (BP) – The Fertilizer Market crashed today and experts say it will not recover any time soon. Results were felt as far away as Washington, D.C. where all the candidates for the 2008 Presidential race immediately dropped out of the running.
That didn’t help much. Maybe the radio will cheer me up!
MUSIC UP FULL THEN DROPS UNDERNEATH
NARRATOR: They killed his mother!
They burned his home!
They filled his life with tragedy and thought they could get away with it!
But, they were wrong because now he’s back….and boy, is he Pissed!
MUSIC CRESENDO, THEN DROPS UNDERNEATH
Bambi…II!!!
The buck stops here!
MUSIC OUT
It’s just not working. Puns and violence always make me nauseous. I think we should try again tomorrow. If Michael and Terry ask, tell ‘em we talked about the markets.
THE MARKETS….Jezzz…I hope my 403b’s okay! Later…..
By David Spangenburg
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